Taipei is the capital of the Republic of China on Taiwan, and the center of Taiwanese politics, commerce, education and mass media.  This is according to the online (and frequently inaccurate) encyclopedia, Wikipedia.  What Wikipedia fails to mention is, Taipei also is home to many, many crazy people.

This would probably give us Westerners a warm glow of superiority, were it not for the fact that so many crazy people live here, as well.  But are we as crazy as the Taipeinese? ... Taipeinians? ... people who live in Taipei?

To be honest, even if you factor in the aggregate population of California, folks in Taipei are crazier than we are, or so I believe.

I base this assumption on a recent newspaper article about a new restaurant-bar located there that features - and I'm not making this up - a hospital theme.  That's right, the whole place is set up with the inviting, take-your-shoes-off ambience of your local burn unit.

Crutches decorate the walls and the parking lot offers wheelchair valet service.

The coup de gras?  A huge vat suspended from the ceiling filled with alcoholic beverages that patrons can enjoy intravenously. Yup.  You read that right.  Who wants to hassle with all that drinking and swallowing, when you can simply hook the Boone's Farm decanter right up to your radial collateral artery and let nature take its course?

Now, I've never been averse to new and better ways of imbibing alcohol, but even I would have to draw the line here.  Or I might, depending on the cuteness of the "nurse" administering the "medicine." (That's what they cleverly call the waitresses and the Boone's Farm.) 

The nurses, by the way, all wear rabbit-ear costumes, which for all I know is what real Taipei nurses wear while making their rounds.  I'm guessing the costumes are revealing, but don't know for sure as I couldn't find any photos on the Internet, despite several Google searches key-worded "Naughty Nurses."  (There is no research too exhaustive or difficult that I will not attempt it for the sake of this column!)

Adding to the whimsy, the restrooms are labeled "Emergency Room."

But I keep coming back to that intravenous alcohol thing.  That just seems, well, crazy to me.  More so because the restaurant's owner got the idea for the place while in hospital being treated for liver disorder!  I can't imagine what caused his liver problems in the first place.  Oh, wait, yes, I can.

At any rate, crazy as the restaurant/hospital is, it is not the strangest eatery in Taipei.  A nearby establishment features a jail theme.  To me, nothing says fine dining like tin cups and electric-chair brownouts.  Gimme some more of that greasy Salisbury steak, will ya warden?  And that shiv in your ribs?  That's just the waiter's way of saying the tip was too small.

Still another Taipei restaurant serves full course meals ... in toilet bowls.  Kind of cuts out the intermediary process, but I see no other benefit there.

Battling the toilet bowl cuisine for bad taste (in every sense of the word) is the restaurant that features a Holocaust theme.  Yes, really.  I'm guessing this place caters to those who miss the legendary German food so loved by the former residents of places like Dachau and Buchenwald, but again, I don't know for sure.  Fortunately, I'll never find out, as the place was (rightly) shut down under pressure from Jewish groups.

It's hasn't been my intention here to offend any Taipainese ... Taipeinians ... Taikwando ... people from Taipei, honestly.  I'm not one of those smug Americans who think Manifest Destiny was a great idea and can't figure out why we don't yet rule the planet.  I truly cherish the world's cultural diversity in all its myriad forms and fear for its seemingly inevitable demise.

But really, man, intravenous Boone's Farm?  That's just crazy.

To reach Mike Taylor with your questions, comments, or reminders of what happened to Don Imus when he made disparaging comments about an ethnic group, e-mail mtaylor@midmich.net or write via snail mail to: Mike Taylor, c/o Valley Media, Inc., PO Box 9, Jenison, MI 49429. Want more? Archived "Reality Check" columns as well as photos, links and previously unpublished "mini-columns" are online at http://mtrealitycheck.typepad.com.